rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He better not be in your backpack
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
