Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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