Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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