and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
