Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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