Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
