i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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