I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
