my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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