youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
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malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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