Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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