Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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