end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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