Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
