Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
