there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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