I puked a lego.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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