Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize