Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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