I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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