I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
