She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
