Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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