You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
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im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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