I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
