How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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