it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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