I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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