I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
