the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM