I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO