I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.