wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.