when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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