do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
