whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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