one might say we're banned from that church
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
