..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
