i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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