Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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