soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
