I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
