I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
