You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Drake has all the answers
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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