i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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