so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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