Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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