I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
