: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
