I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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