I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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