I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
