Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
