You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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