Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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